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10/13/2016 11:59 pm  #1


Home n Cultural sick.

So it happens from time to time, the pull t be back home kicks in big time and I realize  that I dont fit totally into the place n people where I live. Most of the time I can handle it but every now n again something kicks it off, usually when something gets me fired up n I realize I have a very different outlook n feelings about things to those around me. Its a cultural thing really but it sure is a lonely place to find yourself. I live in a western society yet I'm NDN and it doesn't always mix.

Mosta the time stuck quietly up the mountain I live on away from the majority of people sits just fine. But when this kicks in I just wanna let myself be totally honest to my heritage, I'm NDN and proud of it. Trouble is those around me can't handle that side of me so for the majority I have to tone it down. Basically I'm to NDN to be living in the white world and to white to be living in the NDN world because I've lived away from home for far to long. So kinda a catch 22 on my part lol.

This wasn't helped by the fact someone called me a squaw the other day when asking me how I wore my feathers and would I lend them to them and any of my traditional clothing IE buckskins for their Halloween costume http://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/nerdy.png
http://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/shocked.png
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.

Its wasn't meant in a malicious way just the fact they didn't know everything they said to me was an insult because they aren't from my culture. I bit my tongue and explained nicely that you dont call an NDN woman that and that I dont wear buckskins and that my feathers are sacred and I have earn't them so they aren't for lending about. They were real upset that they had insulted me and as I said above there was no malicious intent on there part but the fact still remains it bought home the cultural difference again loud n clear.

I am visiting back home next year all being well, but many friends n family are no longer around, I think that's why it gets me at times.  A very good  friend back home just recently mounted there painted pony n went back to the Ancestors,  which is just part of the circle of life. But it got me to hankering to be back home and made me realize this person was my main contact with back there. I guess it just gave me a reality check, which combined with the feeling of being homesick and just recovering from a lung infection just kicked off a few rough days on my part and to much time being able to think lol.

Anyhow hopefully writing this down will break its gnawing at me for a while longer. I just had to say something somewhere to get it out as I sure as hell can't talk about it to anyone around here.  So back to my day n putting back on the war paint to face the European world again. (Joke ! I don''t really wear war paint or even make up very often its just a term I use about having to put on a face that everyone here finds acceptable.)
 

Last edited by Maikan (10/14/2016 1:07 am)


Religion is for people who are afraid of hell......
Spirituality is for those who have already been there......


 
 

10/14/2016 1:15 pm  #2


Re: Home n Cultural sick.

Today, I felt really Indian when I returned from Spirit Mountain. I stopped for breakfast on the way home at the Casino. Of course there were other Indians there to be with. Woke up to a beautiful sunrise, had a great breakfast on the way home. What else can an Indian ask for? I feel so full of Medicine Power, I will share some of it with your here with this post. You are Native in my book. Do not doubt yourself my friend.

I was wearing my dusty mocasins and dusty hat as well!

Last edited by Thunderbow (10/14/2016 1:21 pm)

 

10/14/2016 1:42 pm  #3


Re: Home n Cultural sick.

Maikan when we feel down through illness or anything else the feelings for home always come into our minds never mind what people say .i have always been called squaw mini haha etc all my life.what people dont know even a lot that i grew up with that i have NDN blood in me,
 i was born in the uk but i dont see it as home because i have always felt as though i should be living elsewhere.people ask stupid questions because they are ignorant of the facts, you are a beautiful soul with a kind heart. i  hope you are feeling better now

 


The spoken word always comes back as whispers in the wind.
 

10/16/2016 9:59 am  #4


Re: Home n Cultural sick.

(((((Maiken))))    You know who you are inside and that is the most important feeling..  You also have to think of your girls and where they think home is..   
It is as Native Spirit says, we all feel down after illnes.. That is pretty normal. You need to get yourself fully fit before the winter really bites..
You are keeping true to yourself and that is what counts..  You hang in there.. You just need something positive to look forwards to.  Thinking of you..Hang in there..   It is said even if you have one drop of Native blood, then you are native... and you have plenty.http://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/rambo.png

Last edited by Star Wolf Medicine Woman (10/16/2016 10:01 am)


There is a good way,  a bad way, and a better way.  For my path, I choose the better way..
Nicholas Black Elk
 
 

10/24/2016 4:16 am  #5


Re: Home n Cultural sick.

Thanks all of you, and sorry I didn't reply sooner Ive been pretty sick again with pneumonia that ran on from the flu. Thankfully it was caught by the Dr in the very early stages and with a huge amount of meds I'm recovering from it. Anyhow I'm still sore n very sleepy but doing ok, so I will be about but I may not post for a few days yet.


 

Last edited by Maikan (10/24/2016 4:18 am)


Religion is for people who are afraid of hell......
Spirituality is for those who have already been there......


 
     Thread Starter
 

10/24/2016 11:52 am  #6


Re: Home n Cultural sick.

I will do a healing ceremoney for you at Spirit Mountain.

 

10/24/2016 3:37 pm  #7


Re: Home n Cultural sick.

Thanks very much Thunder Bow that is much appreciated.
 


Religion is for people who are afraid of hell......
Spirituality is for those who have already been there......


 
     Thread Starter
 

10/27/2016 3:35 pm  #8


Re: Home n Cultural sick.

Hi MaikanI hope you continue to improve.. You are in my thoughts and further bursts of Reiki coming your way...   Maybe you ned a break in a warm climate... Waves magic wand...http://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/cute.png


There is a good way,  a bad way, and a better way.  For my path, I choose the better way..
Nicholas Black Elk
 
 

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